Feeling somewhat at home.

Well, I've done it. I've finally gotten out.

Out of what? Oh, that little one room that is your bedroom, plus baby's room, plus play room, sometimes dining room and office? Well, what the heck? Why didn't you do that earlier.

Ya know, I've been asking myself the very same thing.

(If you're wondering why do I live in one room...see earlier posts that talk about moving, living in a 3 bedroom apt w/ my BIL & SIL, and another married couple who are good friends, answering the call God has placed on our hearts for this city...or check out Clarity.)

Yesterday and today I took advantage of the free baby-time programs offered at the Santa Monica Public Library. The story-time consisted of singing rhymes and motion songs, reading storybooks, today there was even a flannel graph! The best part was watching Novi talk to younger babies like preschoolers talk to her - so cute! I even met some new people (imagine that?) who are not only fellow Santa Monica residents, but are my neighbors as well, and close! Who would have thought?

I've also put down mommy meet-up groups as well as local MOPS group meetings on my calendar. I'm really excited about all of the new people that Novi and I are meeting. Watching Novi react to a new environment, shyly at first, and then warming up to it, not being afraid to explore brings so much joy to my heart. I definitely want her to exercise her adventurous spirit outside of our pantry...and my underwear drawer, haha. Not to mention, walking to these places is giving me some exercise (finally)!

A few weeks ago, Nathan was trying to encourage me to go to the park, go to the library, go do anything really, but I felt so uncomfortable and unmotivated. Unable to figure our why I felt this way, I began to pray and of course, God began to answer. He showed me deep down I was harboring insecurities, fear, and even some bitterness towards this being our home and not Pennsylvania. I missed my family, my friends. I didn't want to have to start from scratch and make those new relationships, which take time, work, and effort...but I was reminded that we're here to do work for His Kingdom...and that this call is BIGGER than all of that.

Please understand that I was not complaining, we are so blessed. But I must continue to remind myself to exchange my plans for His plans. I must not allow all of that stuff to get into the way of being able to clearly see what my responsibility is as wife, mother, minister, neighbor, friend, and follower of Jesus Christ. I have to stop feeling sorry for myself and quit focusing on what is behind, like the Apostle Paul, "...I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead..." (Phil 3:14 NLT). Of course that doesn't mean I have to forget my friends or family back East, but that I now focus on that which God has set before me - the work that I am called to do here.

And here is home.

...and finally...it's starting to feel that way.

Oh, I crack myself up!

So I realized...I'm not a blogger, hence my un-bloggy, un-updated blog. So I've made a decision to just update it when I can and not start every blog with "I can't believe how long it's been..blahblahblah."

I'm excited about today. Nathan and I are in Fresno (we spoke at Lifebridge Church last night) and were planning on driving down King's Canyon to Sequoia National Forest on our way home, but thanks to Pastor Kevin and his wife Ellen, we have a free pass to Yosemite, are going to spend the day there, stay with them again tonight in Fresno, then drive home tomorrow morning! Yosemite! We're so excited!!! God is so good at blessing us, even with little things like that.

Some cool things have happened "lately" (er, since I last blogged)...

I don't really remember May, other than Nathan and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary. We made our annual trip to Melting Pot and had a wonderful dinner there. It makes me sad I have to wait another whole year to eat there again.

In June, I was able to go back home to PA for 2 whole weeks! It was just Novi and I - yes I flew over 5 hours with a 10 month old, by myself! It was wonderful - I got to spend time with Nathan's folks and family in the Poconos, see Nathan's cousin (and my good friend) Tiffany and Eric get married, then watch my little (but taller!) brother, Matt, graduate from high school! I spent 10 days in Salisbury - having a ton a fun with my family. That's the longest I was at home since I lived there!

(We also found out that my brother-in-law & his wife (Josh & Allison) are expecting a baby around Valentine's Day! So crazy, and sooooo awesome!)

At the end of June, Nathan, Novi & I made our 1st trip to Disneyland with good friends, Clay, Angie and their daughter, Macy. I couldn't believe how many rides she could go on with us. We rode a spaceship ride, the Dumbo ride, Pirates of the Caribbean, Peter Pan's Flight, It's a Small World (although Novi slept through that. How? I have no idea!), watch an awesome parade and light show. Novi almost threw up in Nate's hair while she was on his shoulder's, but like a good girl, she leaned over before she puked. We had a blast! I can't wait to go there again. I love amusement parks, but taking your own children there brings such a new dynamic to it.

So far in July, we've had some awesome stuff happen already. We had a great 4th of July with our team putting on an outreach in the park and then hanging watching fireworks at the Marina. The day before Nathan and I got to gig for a party in the Palisades for one of his guitar students' parents' party. It's awesome when you get paid for doing something you love! We met a lot of cool people and ate awesome food.

That brings me to today - speaking of which, I have to finish getting ready. I enjoy so much doing things as a family - taking Novi to new places and watching her start to notice the world, wonder, and enjoy it! Thank you God, for blessings us with this curious, wobbly, speed-crawling little joy!

Two months...really?

It's quite sad how little I actually update this blog. There are just so many ways to keep people in the loop and Facebook really trumps them all...so this blog takes a backseat, especially since time is a factor - and I don't have much of that. But Novi just went to sleep and I decided to write about a few awesome things that have happened since I last blogged (almost 2 months ago)

November

Novi is coming up on 9 months! I can't believe how fast time has gone. She's crawling all over the place, getting into

everything, and trying to cruise along furniture - and man does she fly as you hold her arms and she takes tiny baby steps. She has tried and like sweet potatoes, carrots, squash, green beans, peas, bananas, and applesauce. She's not that

crazy about peaches, but we're working on it. She doesn't have teeth yet...and tonight we tried to get her to gum some tiny banana chunks. She ended up gagging herself and throwing up. Great. She still nurses tons, but now that we're getting to 9 months, I'll be uping the baby food and slowing down the nursing gradually. Na

than and I really want to go away for more than 3 hours without Novi - just for some time to ourselves, and ride rollercoasters...so I need to start feeding her more solids and letting her drink from a cup more and more. But I will tell you, nursing her may be one of my favorite things now. It's the only time I actually get to hold and cuddle her - she's such a wiry, squirmy baby!

Novi is also talking and communicating so much more! She says, baba, mama, dada, and "buh" for bye! She waves bye and hi...sometimes and makes a badabadadbab sound with her hand

over her mouth. She blows raspberries like crazy and is now doing this elephant sound with her lips. And she's doing a super cute thing, shaking her head up and down and acts like she's trying to say something! Oh, gosh, she's just too adorable...picture time!

Nathan

It's been amazing to see Nathan growing more and more everyday as a father and leader. He works so hard and he really inspires me....to do everything unto the Lord, and not for men. His faith in the work that God has called him to do in Santa Monica challenges me, and his ability to cast that vision is so incredible. Also, his patience in parenting (already Novi is showing us some 'tude!) and with me really blows my mind. I'm seriously amazed by him everyday. It's crazy to see the finger of God on his life...I'm so blessed to be married to this man!

Clarity

God has given us some crazy connections lately with Clarity. Early in March, while at the National AG Children's Conference in St. Louis, MO, Nathan met Pastor Rod Loy and I met Pastor Brian Dollar (the senior pastor and children's pastor at North Little Rock Assembly, respectively). They heard our story (and Brian LOVED Novi) and felt led to bless Clarity Kidz by giving us $5000 worth of stuff - a inflatable stage w/ screen and projector as well as two years of super awesome curriculum. Also, Nathan and Pastor Rod have begun what I think is a God-given friendship for Nathan. I'm really excited to see the influence that Pastor Rod is going to have in Nathan's life - as a leader/pastor and as a person.

While at the Conference, Nathan took a little trip to Springfield (he hadn't been back since being born there!) and met with Steve Pike and did an interview about Clarity for their church planting department. You can watch that video here. From these meetings, and with the blessing of the SoCal district this decision was made...

CMN/AG Trust reach 100th church milestone

Fri, 09 Apr 2010 - 3:09 PM CST

Recently The Church Multiplication Network and AG Trust announced the 100th church plant to benefit from the CMN Matching Fund. Lead planter Nathan Kollar received a check for $30,000 toward the launch of Clarity Church in Santa Monica, California. Nathan and his core team are going into the Hollywood area in an effort to impact the arts and movie industry in the hopes that influencing those who help create culture will eventually have an impact nationwide.

"I'm grateful for the partnership of AG Trust who is raising the monies needed to partner with church planters," says Steve Pike, National Director for the Church Multiplication Network. "The process of a structured partnership between planters, partner churches, districts and the National Office has proven that it really does make for a more effective church."Since implementing the CMN Matching Funds program in Fall of 2007, the impact has been significant. In the two-and-a-half years since the Church Multiplication Network and AG Trust began awarding Matching Funds to church plants, $3,090,000 has been matched to 103 new churches. Churches who participate in the CMN Matching Funds Program have a success rate of 98 percent.

So cool, right? God is just too good.

In early April, we attended SoCal district council. We saw a lot of friends, made some new ones, and realized that we really feel like such a part of this district. We are so thankful for Steve Preston and Superintendent-elect Rich Guerra for their support, their networking, and their advocacy for our Clarity vision. While we were at council, during one of the main sessions, Nathan and I, along with a few other SoCal church planters, were called on the stage and prayed over by those attending council, and a clip from Nate's video above was shown to highlight Clarity and push for more support for church plants in SoCal. What a blessing it is to be in a district that believes in what God has called us to do and is willing to make sacrifices to help us be able to do it! Amen!

Our 1st Trip Home

Immediately after SoCal Dist. Council, Nathan, Novi and I flew home to spend a few days in the Poconos with the family, Nathan preach, see Ryan and Katrina get married, and then head to Salisbury to spend time with family there. It was tiring traveling like crazy, but such a good time! The grandparents (and aunts & uncles) were definitely excited having us there...we were too! It was such a blessing the way God provided for our trip to be paid in full! It was also so awesome watching out parents and siblings interact with Novi - man, do they love her!

It was a bittersweet trip, coming back and seeing everything that we left - but God, again, confirmed in both Nathan's and my heart that what we're doing here in LA is what we are to be doing right now. We're seeking first His Kingdom...and even though it's been difficult being away from family and friends, God is seeing us through and allowing His grace to flood our lives especially during the days when we miss everyone the most...AND I feel like God has blessed us with Facebook, and Skype, and iChat, and unlimited long distance, and email, and SMS/MMS texting, and so many other ways to connect - it is a sacrifice, but these technological advances sure do make it a bit easier.

But to wrap this section up, the trip was amazing, and such a blessing for us. We were totally encouraged and refreshed. We have an awesome family!

Last, but not least - God hasn't forgotten...me

So, the past couple months haven't been the easiest, but God has been doing things, small things, but big things for me, nonetheless, that allow me to see that He has a close eye on my life. I'm not alone, He's right here with me. The past few months have been huge transition for me. Not only did I move across the entire country, small town girl to big time city, but I've made a transition into full-on, completely consuming "mom-dom." I no longer have a job where I punch in numbers, cross things off of my list, get a paycheck every two weeks, and receive affirmation and encouragement from a boss, but I spend my days in our spacious (yes, it's true and I take it as a blessing) bedroom, required to keep no schedule other than one for feeding, playing with a precious, creeping, poopy, hungry, at times demanding, moody, curious, for whatever reason waking up at night, slobber-faced boss who never tells me I'm doing a good job, except for the occasional toothless grin. It's hard for me to admit it, this really hurts my pride, but this whole thing (moving, motherhood, church-planting, etc.) has been a lot harder than I thought. I told Nathan that I need to be here. What God is doing in my life, growing me, stretching me, teaching me, would have taken years back home in PA. But the process has been far from easy.. At times I have felt unhappy, misunderstood, angry, bitter, misguided, anxious, and extremely lonely. But God hasn't forgotten me...

How am I sure of this? It's just in the little things. For example, my favorite place to eat is Olive Garden. I just can't get enough of those breadsticks. Back in PA, Nathan and I would eat there every so often, and I kind of got use to that. Now, that's not the case. But God has blessed me, in such a little way, but it's huge to me, with a few meals at Olive Garden! One lady from a church that we ministered at just a few weeks after moving here wanted to bless us but didn't have any money, so she handed us a gift card...to Olive Garden! Last month, one of our closest pastor friends in LA took Nathan and I out to lunch....to Olive Garden! Thanks to having to purchase stuff for the church plant, we have been racking up points on our credit card - we cashed them in for a gift card....to Olive Garden! Man, God is too good.

While at District Council and at Catalyst, I signed up for a few freebies....I won a purse, four $25 restaurant gift cards (all one prize), and GET THIS --> A KINDLE plus $50 amazon gift card! Crazy, right? I NEVER win anything! You could say I'm on a roll...but it's just this: God hasn't forgotten me...or my prayers...or the desires of my heart, even if it's Olive Garden!

One more cool story about the Kindle... Earlier this year, I overhead Nathan talking about wanting a Kindle, but they're not cheap, so it wasn't going to happen. That night I prayed and asked God to help me save or find a way to be able to get a Kindle for Nathan for his birthday or Christmas...both are far enough away that I thought it may have been possible, especially if God blessed us with a little bit of extra cash. Well, who needs extra cash when God just gets you what you ask for free! Man, I couldn't believe it... Ask and you will receive right? And who says God's not into getting you an early birthday present?

I know that getting stuff isn't the point...but just this story shows that God cares. He really does. When you're obedient and make sacrifices (hello, leave comfort, family, security, home, great job, etc.) HE SEES THAT...

I'm so blessed. I have a Maker. And not only did He see me before...He SEES ME NOW!

God has not forgotten me.

God has not forgotten you.

And sometimes it takes just a little something to make you realize that...

...and who wouldn't want a gift card to Olive Garden?

nap when the baby naps...or blog

It's good advice...and I should actually listen to it. I realized though, that I haven't written for a while and wanted to write down a few things that have happened since the last time I posted.

2 weeks ago, Nathan was given the opportunity to go to the Sundance Film Festival with JR Mahon & the Hollywood Pastor Crew. I would have loved to attend as well, but with a baby and no funds it just wasn't going to work out. So, Novi and I had a weekend to ourselves and accomplished some pretty big things. I drove on the 405 for the first time, in crazy rush-hour traffic and then later in the dark, while it was raining - a very big feat for me! I had to drive down to Long Beach for a Light for the Lost tour at Christian Life. While there, I was able to meet some people, visit with friends, and share the Clarity vision - not to mention another great free meal! And I did this - all by myself - Nathan was proud :)

That Saturday, I must had been in driving mode - I drove up PCH and into Malibu Canyon on my way to the 1st birthday party Novi was invited to - Miss Macy Stevenson. The drive was beautiful, it was great visiting with the Stevensons, and I got to stop at a Walmart. (It's crazy...but Walmart doesn't exist in Santa Monica!) While I was there, I was talking with a friend of the Stevenson's. I found out she worked at the Santa Monica YMCA and told her about Dan, one of the guys on our team, who would actually love working there. She proceeded to tell me she had his resume! Now, I'm not sure if that job is going to work out - but I put in a great word for Dan and he has and interview with the Y tomorrow! (I'm not sure if it had anything to do with the lady I met, but we're so happy for him.) Talk about a small world!

Later that week, Nate and I began to get a little nervous thinking about housing for the single guys. It was coming to the last couple days of their stay at Hope Christian Santa Monica, and they needed a place. They would have been able to stay with friends in Long Beach...but it's so far and 2 of them don't have a car. Nathan was feeling so burdened for them - we spend time praying and asking God to do something miraculous - and of course, He did :)

Nik, one of the guys on our team, had met a fellow pastor at a pastor's prayer lunch just a week before. The man wanted to meet with Nathan, so Nik set up a time for the 3 of them to meet. At the last minute, Nik was unable to attend the lunch, so Nate went by himself. He met with the man (after walking around to random guys and asking them if they were "Lyle") and had a good lunch. The whole time Nathan wanted to bring up the housing situation and see if maybe the man knew of someone or some church that could help us out, but he didn't feel comfortable enough to do so. But by the end of the lunch, Nathan felt like he should, so he asked...and get this - the guys are now living Lyle's house, 2 bedrooms + 1 bathroom all their own - for the very small price of someone housesitting for Lyle and his wife while they are away sometime this upcoming spring! Isn't that amazing? We were seriously down the the last day at the Church in Santa Monica, and God came through! What an amazing miracle!

Update on the job situation: Allison has been working at Coogie's...a local place. She walks to work, makes great money, and actually likes it! Katrina was hired at Pinkberry, a frozen yogurt chain, and is waiting to hear back from them for when she starts. Ryan just got a job at Radioshack today! Dan has this upcoming interview, Kyle's been working since the 2nd week we were here, and John and Josh are diligently seeking places to apply. So thank you for your prayers - and please continue to pray! I'm hoping to find a church that needs a secretary/receptionist and has Nursery Daycare that Novi could attend for free - I'm sure God has something in the works!

Nathan and I visited our 4th church last night. It's a fairly large hispanic church in Bakersfield - middle California (Bakersfield Hispanic Church). It was their missions night / faith promise night and their church pledged (in the morning and evening service) over $150,000! Nathan preached while the senior pastor interpreted for him - that was a crazy experience and so awesome! I thought it was so cool that there were people in that room who would never hear Nathan preach because they do not understand English - but they did last night thanks to the Pastor speaking Spanish for Nathan! It was such a blessing to be there. God really moved in the hearts of the congregation - and I think they want to support the ministry of Clarity monthly - praise God!

Can't believe our kick-off service is next week! Check out the flyer and info here!

Well, Novi is up - she is a master cat-napper.

miracle after miracle

Nathan and I seriously cannot believe just how many miracles God has performed in our lives - just in the past 3 1/2 years of being together. It's really such a short little time, but of course God can do anything. I believe that God really takes us at our words. You see, Nate and I, from the beginning of our relationship just wanted our lives to be a big "yes" to God. Whatever He asked, big or small, we would trust Him - knowing that when we seek His Kingdom and His righteousness that He would take care of us, that all these things would be given to us, as well.

I can't even begin to name you all of the miracles since Nate and I have been together, but I'll list as much as I can just from the time that the Lord started to put planting a church on our hearts:

-meeting Sarah Kelly & visiting CA the 1st time (this is when God began to burden our hearts for West LA/Santa Monica)

-Steve Preston, SoCal Church Planting Director, actually taking us seriously when we called saying we wanted to plant a church in West LA

-Josh & Allison being on-board with us even before we were sure

-Finding out we were pregnant with Novi!!!

-SoCal Bootcamp and the connections we made there (JR Mahon, Norb Kohler, Trinity Jordan, Mike Hinojosa, Coast Christian Church, Steve & Becky Preston, Rich Guerra, Steve Pike....and soooo many more)

-singing again with Sarah Kelly in SoCal (cool opportunity, always!)

-meeting with Clay and Angie Stevenson...and Clay offering Nathan the opportunity to teach afterschool music lessons @ Village School!!!

-our parents just wanting us to do what God had called us to do - and being okay that that meant taking their 1st grandbaby 3000 miles away

-our siblings and family excited for what God wanted to do with us in our lives!

-a family actually renting our house

-PennDel District council and the connections we made there (Ridgeway Church, Gary Kipe, and sooo many others)

-beginning a new awesome friendship with JR & Diane Mahon, visiting with them (such a breath of freshness into our lives and outlooks)

-God totally setting it up for Keith & Matt to step into Nathan's roles at Lighthouse...it's an understatement to say that it went smoothly!

-Nathan acquiring music students so we could have income while he wasn't on staff at a church

-THE CLARITY TEAM...beginning to meet and see God form our leadership team

-Our relationship with Gary Spell and His ability to just pour freshness into our walks with the Lord

-Churches actually wanting Nathan and I to come and share the Clarity vision, lead them in worship, letting Nate minister, and then paying us for it and blessing us like crazy with support and prayers!

-People beginning to support us through prayer and finances - and some of them monthly....wayyyy awesome!

-Having a baby! November Loren Kollar 8/4/09 @ 8:01pm 7lbs 14.6oz 19.5in

-Clarity Dev: Take 1 with JR Mahon

-Having an excellent traveling baby!

-SoCal minister's retreat where Nathan was able to share the Clarity vision! We gave out over 80 packs in 2 days and already began to book services in SoCal!

-Another opportunity to sing with Sarah Kelly - met with The Fish radio, made sweet connection, as well with the Pregnancy Resource Center (Hello, Baby!)

-Clarity Dev: Take 2 w/ Gary Spell

-Awesome times with family over the holidays

-Setting up a sweet website (www.claritylife.org) with asoundstrategy.com, paying a good deal for it and then a church calling us the next day and telling us they are going to give us almost double what we payed for for the website!

-Packing up all of our stuff - it was crazy!

Since the new year....

-Traveled across the country witha 5 month old baby

-Had a place to stay in Santa Monica while we looked for an apartment, thanks Barry & Susie @ Hope Christian Santa Monica

-Clarity Dev: Take 3 w/ Steve Preston

-Found tons of apartments, but really needed income and the ability to show that we had it coming in every month - God let us meet Nancy and Susan, who worked with us, and Susan pulled every string because she believes in the Clarity vision - and bam! We get an apartment after being in Santa Monica for 1 week! It was truly a miracle!

-Meeting Josh and Steph Galbincea (sp?), an awesome couple who have been blessing the team's socks off! They want to be a part, supporting us with whatever - including a Costco membership and tons of food! So excited for them to be a part of the Clarity team through their awesome talents in graphic design/film. God is bringing such sweet people our way!

-More music students @ Village School for Nathan. Meeting their families - and their families wanting to know about Clarity and Jesus

Seriously, miracles are happening here every day. There are so many more...I just don't have the time (in my lifetime!) to write them all down. But I hope to do better from now on...

Get ready to see God do so much more!

When we say "yes" and trust Him - and give our lives freely - He is faithful!

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Luke 6:38

failed attempt

My intentions for this blog were to write in it everyday and record the journey that we were beginning...Fail. Ha, little did I know that actually doing the journey would suck every ounce of energy out of me, not to mention - I have a 5 1/2 month old while doing it too...and one who doesn't know what to do with a binky or bottle. So I have been unsuccessful at updated this everyday like I had hoped. At least I realized it at my second blog post... :)

Right now, I'm trying to entertain Novmeber with a multi-colored ladybug and somehow trick her into going to sleep (as she just attacked my lap top). It's not that she's not sleepy - it's just that she doesn't quite fully believe that she is.

But anyway, I just wanted to admit - I'm a failure at writing daily. So no more feeling guilty about it. I've come to terms with it. But I do hope to update about what's been going on the past 2 1/2 weeks as soon as I can get my little sleepy head to shut her eyes and try to take a decent morning nap. Wish me luck. :)

the.journey.begins.

Nathan and I discussed during dinner tonight that it's hard to wrap our minds around the fact that in a few days we won't be making the trip back "home" to the Poconos - that we're actually moving to Santa Monica...today (and well, for the majority of the week). What in the world are we thinking?!?!? Well - we're thinking about obedience. Obedience to his word to "go and make disciples" just like He has instructed all of us. We're thinking about the lost and the fact that the whole reason Jesus came was to seek and to save them. So okay - here we go.

Our trip began pretty smoothly - actually everything had gone as planned all weekend. But quickly, (30 mins into our 11 hour-drive day) we realized that we forgot to leave an important paper for the U-Pack truck company. The smoothness ended quickly. We traveled back home, dropped off the paper and added 1.5 hours to our already super long trip. Nathan was pretty frustrated but through this frustration, God's ever-faithful word spoke to Nathan's heart. He was encouraged and empowered - ready to take on whatever else may come our way.

So after crossing 4 state lines (PA to MD, to WV, to VA, to TN) and numerous feeding stops, we made it (almost) to Knoxville, TN. Thanks to the awesome invention called "gift cards," we enjoyed a $3 meal from Cracker Barrel and now have crashed - ready for a good night's sleep. Oh, and I have to say - our baby is the best traveling baby ever. I'm so proud of her.

And one more thing I'm proud of - our families. I can't say thank you enough to our parents, siblings and other family members for their support, prayers, and love. We are so blessed to have a family who's only desire is for us to be obedient to whatever God has placed on upon our hearts. And like I've said before...

It's better to be obedient and far away than disobedient and nearby.

Thank you family and friends - you are such a blessing to our lives!